Have you ever felt totally alone even when you were with
people? Or kept yourself
so busy that you would not allow yourself the space to catch a glimpse of that
lurking dark figure behind the closet called loneliness?
The feeling of being alone can be normal when
we are going through difficult times.
Providing that we have relevant coping strategies to recover from the situation. When things have
settled, and we feel safe again, we can return to “equilibrium”.
It is not normal when feeling lonely is a way of life.
MADE FOR INTIMACY
It is healthy to desire to be known and be understood, it is
normal to want to connect and to share, it is crucial that we have meaningful
relationships.
These are innate desires. Researchers over the years have shown that babies who were not receiving
regular human touch seem to fail to thrive; elderly people who live alone and
have no pets seem to have more episodes of sicknesses.
We were made for intimacy
– we thrive on meaningful emotional and physical exchanges. For some of us, somewhere in our history this
need was denied, or violated, leading to all forms of Self Protection to
ensure our survival.
THE SECURED DOOR
VERSUS THE LOCKED DOOR
Healthy boundaries are crucial to growth and relationships,
they allow us the security to decide with wisdom as to who we would allow
into our hearts – But Self Protection can often lead to shutting people out, which eventually can lead to feelings of disconnection.
I liken one to be the Secured Door, where the property is
secured, but any person with appropriate clearance can enter. The other as the Locked Door, where the key
is only held by the owner, who very rarely answer the door to their hearts,
because to them the world is full of imperfect people that make them feel
unsafe.
Loneliness is often the product of a locked door.
Let's discuss these two Doors in more details in my next
post. As for now......let me ask you
this question:
Knock! Knock! There is a Perfect Man standing at the door, are you going to grant Him access?
Diep-Thanh
