The Locked Door – “I am OK”, Really?

Last week in our discussion of the chameleon we discovered that the sense of significance can only come when we dig deep and not spread thin.  We were all born with the desire to feel deeply connected and valued, and it is in safety that we can achieve this.

Another manifestation of the Locked Door phenomenon can be seen in the “I am OK, I can manage” approach to life.

STRIVING TO BE OK

I was like that when I first came to Australia, I experienced a sense of displacement but on the surface I was this brave young kid who worked hard at excelling at school while looking after a sick mum.  l was so determined I got into leadership everywhere I went. Deep down inside I felt alienated and feared abandonment.  (I later learnt that this fear took root when my father died when I was two years old.  As an infant I did not know how to cope so the survival instinct switched off the connection button.)

THE FEAR OF ABANDONMENT

The fear of abandonment often prevents us from making deep connection just in case.....  we can expect a lot of love but  do not know how to love.  We keep people at arm’s length but often hope secretly for more commitment and loyalty than we would admit.   The sad thing is this is often a self-fulfilling prophecy; due to the inability to connect, or unwillingness to connect, we end up driving people away and hence feeling abandoned!!!

NEVER LEAVE NOR FORSAKE

When I finally met the Perfect Man, every ounce of me surrendered to His promises of eternal love, faithfulness, the fact that He would never leave me nor forsake me.  This began the journey of Love which helped to root me and stabilize me emotionally, and make me the person I am today.  NO, I am not talking about my husband, who IS a godly and wonderful man – I am talking about the One we all can come to love and be loved the same way.    Mike Bickle from IHOP has this saying:  “I am God’s favourite!!!  You are also God’s favourite, in fact, we ALL are God’s favourite!!!  it’s unfathomable, isn’t it?

HE KNOWS THE ONETHING

Our relationship with God IS that personal and individual, yet so communal and wide scale – that’s the mystery of God, He sees everything yet He KNOWS the one thing which hides under the insecurity of our hearts – He comes and He quiets us with His Love, bring us into a place of feeling safe with him, and then.....He cuts off that cancerous growth and makes us whole.

This is our Beloved’s Signature, - He loves us for who we are, yet He loves us enough to not leave us at the place where He had found us; He reaches out and takes us by the hand, cleans us up, gives us a new identity, and teaches us how to live in Freedom.

FREEDOM TO OPEN THE DOOR

True freedom is to love in spite of..., true freedom is to know that when we open our hearts to people we WILL get hurt sometimes, but trust that our Father is more than able to heal us, and make us stronger through the experience.  True freedom is to know that even if you knew in advance “Judas” would betray you, you would love him the same – so the purpose of God can be fulfilled!!!! 

So the next time you say “I am ok”, ask yourself these questions:  Am I OK because I have built such a high fence that no one has been able to jump over and hurt me?   Am I OK because I have become so self-reliant so no one could disappoint me?  Or, I am really OK because I have tasted the freedom of TRUE LOVE, the love that heals all wounds.

Let’s revolutionize LOVE!

Diep-Thanh